Update #60: October 11th
Archive: http://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/14021341
Recap:
>Glasses revealing her fears
>That she’s no longer friends with anyone, and no longer welcome on the trip.
>It’s kinda true
>But everyone else is the same.
>Fighting, all members involved
>Screaming
>Kicking
>Myself vomiting in the bathroom after one of blondie’s patented attempts on my life
>Raven unconscious on the floor
>It’s a bit of a dramafest in this house, and nobody is friends with one another.
>Time outs, as juvenile as it sounds.
>Glasses and I
>I ask her to be honest
>She is
>WAY TOO HONEST
>I’m staring at my hands
>Not sure i really want to respond after all
>I mean she wasn’t lying, but the stuff she just told me was kinda unsettling
>Do i take the bait?
>Do i refuse?
>What would raven want me to do?
>What kind of answer should i follow to stick with our plan of getting back at glasses?
>Ending up staring at my hands far longer than i initially intended before just blurting out the first thing that came to mind
>”I… don’t want to”
>I didn’t really
>Meaning i did, but i didn’t
>But i would, but i couldn’t
>You know, that kind of “I don’t want to”.
>As funny as it sounds
>She had a look of shock on her face
>Lips parted slightly and absolute confusion across her cheeks.
>Taken aback almost, not expecting me to just flat out say no like that
>See i couldn’t be sure Raven’s instructions to “Not touch glasses” could be held up in this situation or not.
>Honestly i think i was fucked either way
>So many things could go wrong, it’s like it would just cause ten times more drama than we were currently having.
>Leaning forward, i grabbed the TV remote and turned it on.
>Avoiding the topic entirely
>She still tried to regain my attention, maybe change my answer.
>A questioning
>”What!? is that a no?”
>See that’s a trap
>There is only one answer, and it had to be “Yes”
>The one i told her
>Because otherwise she would just nag me into submission, or nitpick my answer until nothing of substance was left.
>I shrugged, curled up my legs and flipped channels until she stopped staring at me
>Making sure i wasn’t sitting close enough for any unwanted physical contact at all
>AKA
>Curling up, looking like i was hurt/depressed and uninterested
>The ONLY safe way out of this situation, the only way i could reinforce the plan and keep up the charade.
>Fooling glasses takes the best acting skills you have.
>I played my “I’m hurt leave me alone card” for about twenty minutes.
>That’s as long as it worked, one full TV show of peace.
>Then my tv-enjoyment was rudely interrupted by her question
>One of those that demand your full attention, or else.
>But a more confident voice, asking matter of factly something that was obviously on her mind.
>”So… ”
>”Do you think you can trust me?”
>I had the power, right at that very moment
>Rip away her confidence
>Shred her dignity, self respect, and make her feel like trash for everything she’s done
>All i had to say was no
>”n….”
>”N….”
>I couldn’t
>Went with “I have to think about it”
>Glasses doesn’t respond, and we sit there silently for the rest of the time out
>Just watching TV
>Until blondie arrives and asks if she can come out now because she’s bored
>She cut her punishment short by like, 5 minutes
>Cheater
>But i said fuck it, roused the house from time-out (Raven seemed to be fine, phew) and declared it officially time to do something vacationy.
>So we did
>I deputized gadget with her own little badge before we set off.
>Hopped in the car, drove around town, went to a couple parks / interesting city sights to see.
>Made a day out of it
>Lunch and everything, before grabbing some quick dinnerfood and heading back home.
>It wasn’t NEARLY as fun as i wanted it to be
>Because every thirty minutes, i had to break someone up.
>Some words getting just a little too tense
>Some almost-fights
>Staring contests that weren’t in good nature.
>Freckles was inches away from clawing out blondie’s throat, twice.
>Deputy inspector gadget only barely managing to interrupt them and hold the two apart before sheriff woody arrived on the scene.
>Raven would have been my deputy, but she was doing an outstanding job of pretending she hated me
>Maybe by actually hating me
>But she wasn’t innocent either, starting a bickering match between herself and aubrey no less than six times during the trip.
>It wasn’t very fun at all, not for me, or gadget
>Or anyone else.
>We cut the trip short, grabbed some fast food and ended up back home, fed, and no happier with one another than we had set out at about 6:00 in the evening.
>I didn’t know what to do about it
>So i tugged my favorite deputy over to a side room
>She was still sipping her reward for the good police work; ice tea long overdue.
>LONG overdue.
>Between slurps she suggests we simply let them fight one another and work it out.
>I think this is a terrible idea
>Then more words of wisdom from gadget
>”If you stop them, they’ll fight you instead”
>…
>Truth, Spittin truth brahj
>But i don’t know if i can just let them start fighting like they were earlier again
>I would definitely jump in next time and stop everything.
>Gadget cutely stomps her foot and says she’s not going to get in any fights.
>We leave in agreement
>To find Freckles and Raven what must be seconds away from dishonorable slap attacks
>Blondie already missing in fear somewhere
>Aubrey and glasses standing off to the side, neither wanting to get involved.
>I step in
>Referee storybro to the rescue
>Except not really, i just get between them and ask what the fuck the problem is this time.
>Raven speaks up in eloquency
>”This scoundrel over here”
>Raven nods towards freckles.
>”She tells me uncouth lies, the heathenous words flowing from her lips are like a snakes venom, coursing through my mind and eating away my confidence”
>Hmm
>Indeed
>I turn to freckles, to get her side of the story
>”Your ex-harlot!”
>Ouch, that’s a great insult, but i know she’s the problem, now why?
>”She crept into my bed last eve, and has the unkindly manner of insulting my ladylike stature for it!”
>Mhmm
>I nod in understanding
>I inform them quite curtly, clicking my boots against the hardwood bar floor.
>”I see no reason that a wordly disagreement must come to a head in fighting ladies”
>Hands on my hips, i loop my thumbs through my belt
>Freckles takes this moment to peel off her gloves
>Obviously in intent of using them, the claws for her disagreement.
>This sour’s raven’s disposition additionally so.
>Her dress flipped upwards and knives withdrawn from an ankle brace.
>”Please holster your weapons, there shan’t be any more blood in this establishment”
>This was gadget of course
>Her tough-unladylike demeanor fitting her rugged leather outfit perfectly.
>Not that anyone listened
>Freckles leaped, claws outstretched
>Raven started pinning poor bystanders to the walls with her dexterous knife throwing skills.
>All the bottles behind the bar exploded, even though nobody was even shooting bullets
>Some guy started playing ragtime on a piano
>BARFIGHT
>Interrupted by aubrey
>Who threw herself into the middle of them both
>Took a knife and a claw, then fell over, her dying words
>”Stop it you too, freckles come with me!”
>Before i knew it, the dead girl was dragging the kicking and screaming redheaded wolverine off to some other part of the house
>Raven, myself, gadget and glasses just standing there confused.
>That asshole didn’t stop playing ragtime either.
>Raven turns to me
>Obviously to take out whatever anger she has left on the person closest
>Then she contemplates if she really wants to start shit with me or not
>The guy wearing the fucking badge
>Guess not
>Pivots 10 degrees to Gadget
>And glares
>Gadget just smiles back
>I swear she winks even
>[spoiler]God damnit gadget <3[/spoiler]
>Winks just long enough for raven to decide she definitely wanted to be mad at her
>”Why didn’t YOU-”
>A prominent finger, an astoundingly aggressive voice towards gadget
>”-Take my side!? I Thought YOU-”
>The finger again
>”Had my back!?”
>Raven’s expressions are oddly pronounced
>Betrayal, Anger, a bit of rage, and all-in-all the “I’m just angry so i’m blaming you” emotion.
>Gadget goes through a couple stages too
>I guess she thought she wasn’t going to get yelled at, or wasn’t very good at reading what was on raven’s mind, because she jumped startled when the yelling started
>Then her cheeks drooped into resignation, and ultimately fear as she started shrinking away from raven’s angry pointing.
>Hid behind my back
>And i heard her quietly trying to get back a response, but i couldn’t hear her, so i knew raven couldn’t
>I step forward
>One fell swoop, bend my knees, jut my shoulder out and scoop raven up and over my back, so i’m holding firmly onto her waist and she’s draped behind me.
>From experience, i know i only have about two minutes of carrying energy. So i’m off
>Literally just scoop up raven and walk away
>Leaving gadget/glasses staring after us
>Can’t make it to the second floor carrying raven so i don’t even try
>I just find the bedroom down here on the first floor, plop the oddly complacent girl on my shoulders down and stand there, hands on hips
>She rolls to face me
>An odd look in her eyes
>Not lust, not anger
>But something completely unique, and something i’m not sure i’ve encountered before.
>Then fires the artillery she was saving up
>”Protecting Her?”
>I nod
>She’s still got that look in her eyes
>”What’s she to you anyway?”
>Oh fuck
>FUCK
>i should have known, it was jealousy!
>Coincidentally, i know the correct answer to this question too
>”Currently less bitchy than you are”
>Raven doesn’t even react to that
>So she knows
>I interrupt her thoughts with “Could you stop fighting everyone, this trip is starting to fall apart because of all this drama”
>She shrugs
>Disagrees and says we’ll get over it tonight or tomorrow.
>I put my foot down at her lax attitude, quite hard
>”Glasses was going to get on a flight and fly home today you know…”
>This gets her
>Relaxed body on the bed no longer, she sits upright in a bolt
>”What!? No! Why? What did you do-
>Wow
>Thanks
>fucking blame me
>I tell her what’s what
>”The dramashit between you and her made everyone hate her.”
>Which was true
>Everyone either backed away from both girls, or took my side.
>Then my side forgave raven.
>But not glasses
>[spoiler]You know anons, apology here
>I’m realizing the way i’m explaining all of this is kinda days-of-our-livesy
>OH NO FRENANDO KILLED LAURA AND IS SLEEPING WITH NANCY WHO IS THE LONG LOST SISTER OF EDWARD WHO MIGHT BE MARRIED TO HIS MOTHER’S BROTHER.
>It’s just this shit is really complicated politics mostly ,and i can’t just breeze past it or else nothing makes sense
>I’ll sum it up though, more than i’ve been doing[/spoiler]
>I spend the next ten minutes explaining the entire set of discussions between myself and glasses to raven
>Go over my choices (Which she seems ok with for the most part) and how glasses seems to be planning more things
>And the part about not being involved in raven/freckles sleeping in the same bed
>I ask about that.
>Raven just whines “I don’t know” and tells me she was drinking and talking to glasses, and then she woke up with freckles
>Obligatory question
>”Did you sleep with freckles?”
>I mean i needed to know if they were fighting because they had a one night stand or something.
>Shoulda expected the answer.
>Too obvious, a chuckle even
>”Do you think she knows how to sleep with women?”
>I couldn’t help but chuckle too.
>The couple minutes is us bickering about if freckles actually knew how to sleep with women or not
>Giggles, laughter at various quips
>I wasn’t even worried about not being on raven’s good side, it was obvious we were fine behind the scenes.
>But we come to the ridiculous conclusion that raven didn’t remember if she actually did anything with freckles.
>Meaning she could have accidentally taught freckles how to sleep with other women
>And the only way to figure it out was to have someone sleep with freckles and find out if she knew now.
>Thus finding out what raven was doing that night while drunk.
>Someone, who she flagrantly establishes “Won’t be me”
>Not actually a plan, just a comical conclusion that we quietly laugh at
>We’ve both found ourselves lying on the bed now
>Half enjoying sideways physical contact
>She mentions she misses talking to me like this
>I mumble an agreement
>She mentions something about wanting to sleep in the same bed, but then gets up
>Stomps to the floor, reminds me
>Or reminds herself
>that we can’t be seen getting along
>And rushes over, flings open the bedroom door and stomps out
>Arms crossed
>I sit up
>watch her stomp away
>And blondie tiptoe in behind her
>Peer through the doorway, curiously
>That cute investigative gaze, an expressionless smile.
>seeing me there, aware of her watching
>She pipes up, a whispering quiet question
>But one in the perfect level of squeakiness to carry across the entire room
>”Did… you just fight?”
>I nod
>She gives up the pretense of sneaking, and leans properly around the doorframe
>Stepping in, hands clasped behind her back in the least intimidating way she knows how.
>Another question
>”What about?”
>I think about that one
>Sigh
>Look downwards
>Do the whole act
>Trying to come up with a good enough answer.
>I stare up at her
>Fake tears in my eyes
>(I thought about cutting up ogres)
>”Glasses”
>The truth
>Nothing better for making her cute blue eyes sag, her expression soften and her sit on the bed next to me
>A sideways hug of comfort
>Not lewd
>Blondies’ sympathy achieved.
>I like hugs
>Hugs are nice
>Specially ones you don’t deserve
>Those are the best
>Doubly so when it’s accompanied by a girl thanking you
>Like blondie
>A sweet nuzzling
>”Thank you”
>Quiet, but intent
>I love thank yous that you don’t deserve
>No clue what this one was for, but i’ll take it.
>Then a question
>I like questions
>Specially when they’re ones you don’t deserve
>”Is gadget your new girlfriend?”
>Eep
>I spit out my drink
>Not that i’m drinking anything
>I’m just sitting here on this bed with blondie half-hugging me from the side
>How
>How do i answer this
>Answer yes, blondie rushes off in a huff
>Because that’s the only fucking reason she’s asking
>Is that she wants to know so she can make some kind of offer
>Answer no and she instantly thinks i’m open
>Just hurting her feelings again like last time.
>Or…
>Wait this is blondie not glasses
>There’s a real chance that she genuinely cares about my feelings and is just being empathic and curious.
>Hmmm
>I end up prodding her
>”Whyyawannaknow?”
>One word
>One question
>She mumbles
>”Well… you just seemed to li-
>She pauses
>Doesn’t continue, just ends her statement right there.
>So i don’t press it
>I seem to have diffused answering the question entirely
>Which was my goal i guess
>She just sits there quietly, and finally sighs
>”I’m sorry too”
>…
>About
>What?
>Not that i don’t deserve her sorry’s
>Those are like the only thing she could give me everyday and never run out of things to mean it about.
>she blurts
>”I didn’t hurt you last time, i just this time i missed and raven got in the way…”
>A worried tone
>Getting worse each phrase
>”I really was trying to not hurt you, i…
>Then a fumbled cry
>”You should hit me again”
>A kneejerk reaction to what i did before
>Like i said
>If she hurt me, i’d hurt her back
>And currently she was right
>The deficit was one kick in the gut
>Not that i want to kick her back though
>Just the fact that she brought it up was confusing to me
>She moves her head, pulls back from the hug and stares at my shirt
>”Can…i?”
>Her hands on the hem
>I guess, i don’t really care, go ahead and look
>She hefts it up
>Halfway up my chest, gasping before she even gets the cloth up all the way
>Ouch
>Yeah there’s a serious fucking bruise there. Right in the lower abdomen
>Damnit
>Now that i see it
>See how bad it is
>It hurts
>FUCK YOU PHYSIOLOGY
>It’s crazy tender all of a sudden
>As if i just didn’t even notice it until my mind remembered it was there
>sucking in my breath, i accidentally whimper
>Accidentally because blondie hears it
>Gasps again and starts apologizing all over once more.
>Hands fluttering, examining and apologizing for every inch of bruised flesh
>Then a little bit more as they trace off the beaten path
>Literally
>Then stop, and pull back to her own chest
>Then the hem of her shirt
>She hefts it up, reveals her adorably snuggly smooth stomach, cute little bellybutton and lower abdomen.
>Then states her demands
>”Punch me, same place, as hard as you can”
>She’s got her war face on
>Super Cereal.
>She’s got three of my knuckle marks there already
>Right below the navel
>And i argue with her for a couple minutes
>I kinda don’t want to hit her
>Not understanding why she wanted me to in the first place
>Some form of “It’s fair” and “We’ll be even” leaves her mouth every time i ask
>And she’s fucking relentless
>Begging, pleading, telling me she wants to make it up to me
>To which i point out there’s probably a million other things she can do, but she doesn’t latch on to that at all.
>Just asks again for me to punch her
>So i give up
>I don’t realize what she wanted until
>I agree
>”This’ll hurt like hell then”
>Before the words have even left my mouth i give her a hard right jab in the stomach, same place she kicked me.
>Her reaction is interesting, to say the least.
>Like the face wasn’t even able to keep up with the sensation
>Just a little “o” and an outward gasp, before she tumbles over onto the bed again
>Clutching her stomach, face first.
>I instantly feel bad, who wouldn’t.
>Probably the mastermind standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching the entire conversation
>Three words from her lips
>”Hug her now”
>Which make far too much sense
>Even as she explains
>”That’s why she wanted you to hit her, so you’d cuddle again and make her feel better. Idiot”
>The mastermind wasn’t wearing glasses
>Nor was she wearing contacts
>It was Aubrey standing on one leg, leaning into the doorframe, watching us
>She of course was being foolish
>There’s no way blondie wanted me to punch her, as hard as i could, in the gut, to get a cuddle afterwards
>She’s curled up into a ball almost
>Legs tucked in, 100% that hurt like hell
>Aubrey laughs, calls me an idiot again and whisks herself away down the hallway
>I stand to follow her and ask what the fuck that’s all about.
>Try to stand
>Blondie has me
>I find she’s grabbed the hem of my shirt, clenched in her fist
>Lifts her head off the bedsheet, makes half eye contact.
>and gasps out “Bathroom”
>Before clutching her stomach again
>!!!
>I start around, trying to find other girls that are around to help
> none present themselves
>So i take command, wrap my arm under blondie’s shoulder, haul her up and drag her, still hunched over, to the bathroom over in the hall.
>It is dragging because she’s completely unwilling to let her legs work or help me out.
>All of her weight is leaning on me, her arms naturally grabbing whatever handholds they could find purchase on my torso.
>a sideways carry, more than assistance
>We reach the bathroom
>Risking either shoving her in the door, and having her soil herself on the bathroom floor, or a minor loss of modesty for the girl.
>I figure fuck, i just punched her in the bladder, least i can do is make sure it reaches a toilet right?
>Drag her in, lock the door, shuffle over to the toilet
>Pretend i’m an adult and completely mature enough to not make a big deal out of this
>Fail
>Fumble with her jeans for a minute, trying my best not to look, shimmy them down her hips making sure the underwear comes with, and gently sit her down on the toilet.
>To which she instantly keels over forward, nearly tumbling off clutching her stomach, before i stop her.
>Steady her, make sure she’s not going anywhere.
>Then i avail myself to the sink, trying my best not to make accidental mirror eye contact or anything.
>A couple seconds
>And the lewd sound of a girl’s urine tinkling into a toilet bowl
>Not even a peaceful constant waterfall, poor blondie did it in spurts tonight
>Start, stopped nearly a dozen times
>Which worried me
>”Did i break something? Does it hurt there?”
>Pretty sure your peeing mechanism is a non replaceable part
>All while not making eye contact, or looking at her
>She gives a low groan
>”Squeezing hurts… is all”
>):
>Two more spurts, and i think the toilet paper declared herself as done
>Then some rustling, which i hoped were clothes being applied properly
>Still avoiding eye contact
>I was probably more embarrassed than she was
>Oh how wrong i was
>”Did you… look?”
>That curious inquiry as to my honor and loyalty.
>I responded instantly “NO!” of course not my innocent princess, i would never!
>Wrong answer
>Her voice somehow manages to get more hurt than just-getting-punched-in-the-gut, and she asks “Why not?”
>Stumbling
>Fumbling
>I don’t have an answer for that
>Stuttering out some response
>Any response
>Not that it answered anything, but she took it
>And turned it around right on me
>A bit of curious, and a lot of putting her emotions out on a limb, she makes me blush.
>”I… shaved because you asked, and you’ve already seen it. So… ?”
>I freeze
>Wat
>No other option in my male mind but rotating 360 degrees and walking away
>That was a very unblondie like statement
>It’s not possible that’s her behind me.
>I only make it 180
>Get her eye contact
>It’s definitely blondie
>She’s 60s diner booth seat red all over. That crimson maroon color, with rips of foamy white showing through in different places.
>Blushing about as deep as she’s ever going to blush
>But then again she just told me to look at her vagina, and make no mistake
>I did
>She hadn’t dressed
>Legs somewhat spread, giving me a perfect view.
>It wasn’t clean shaven, not a smooth cut all over. But the previous bush was completely gone, fully chopped down to short stubble.
>Same beautiful innie lips she always had, nothing sticking out except a tiny hint of labia
>Perfect
>Actually, it looked really similar to-
>I wave the thought out of my mind
>Blondie is flagging down my attention
>”You didn’t get to see it when i did it, it was a couple days ago, but does it look better?”
>She isn’t saying that, its mostly stammering and embarrassed looks in other directions
>But it’s a question she needs answered
>I tell her it looks great, but i wouldn’t have minded either way
>A response that gets me an “Oh…”
>And a “You said when you… uh.. licked… that it was…”
>Oh jeeze, something i said that time was bugging her
>Fuck, stop taking everything men say like it has hidden meanings, i probably said it tickled or something.
>But her next answer makes me downright confused
>”You didn’t say it last night, so…”
>seriously what
Update #61 : October 12th
Archive: http://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/S14040808
>Last night
>No what
>Seriously what
>”I didn’t do anything with you last night”
>Thankfully thoughts, and not a blurt out
>But my look of confusion, a scrunch of my eyebrows and a curious expression quickly gets the message across that i don’t remember.
>An expression that blondie responds to with an “O… oh.. you were drunk, right…”
>and then a pause
>as if contemplating
>contemplation over, her face obviously coming to the conclusion as her lips start to move
>”Nevermind-”
>A timid empty dismissal of her thoughts
>Her cheeks still a brilliant maroon red
>I internally sigh
>disappointed that she won’t tell me whatever’s on her mind for the 1000th time.
>Her physical actions, crossing her legs suddenly, squeezing her thighs together for privacy telling me far more than words.
>She had embarrassed herself out of the subject.
>I don’t actually like that solution though
>For once
>Seriously wait a darn minute
>She seriously can’t just bring up something like that and drop it
>I could do a couple things here
>Pretend i didn’t remember anything, and maybe she’ll tell me what happened
>But it’s blondie, so she won’t
>In that case i could force her to tell me
>That’s really just running with the wind though, i’d have to threaten her or scare her into telling me, and knowing blondie that will either backfire.
>Or end up with me dead
>Thus, the only solution
>Is to pretend i remember exactly what happened, and then try to run off context clues and her reactions to see what actually happened.
>”Yeah, i was a little tipsy, but i remember chatting with you and aubrey and…”
>I drone off intentionally
>Feign a look of surprise
>One that she mirrors with more blushing
>”O…oh… we… oh…” I mumble
>Carefully constructed to sound as if i’m just now remembering.
>She’s beet red
>Whatever it is, it was definitely lewd huh.
>She’s not giving any other hints though
>Just a scared little hiccup
>Which was adorable by-the-way
>So i have to do all the work and ask questions
>”Yeah, so…”
>shifting my eyes
>Focusing on hers, which refuse to look at me straight on
>”How was it?”
>AKA
>Pretend my male hubris needs to know how skilled i was at whatever activity we were performing.
>Pretty sure i didn’t have sex with her or anything
>I hope… i didn’t
>that would be awful
>I mean having your first time with a seemingly blackout drunken male who left to go sleep with someone else in the morning.
>That would be traumatizing right?
>She confirms
>”Awful, you left”
>…
>I
>I start apologizing
>Backtracking
>I’ve just fucked up everything, one girl gets something special, and one girl got something shit.
>”I didn’t know, i just didn’t remember and i went to go to the ba-”
>Lips move as if to interrupt me
>But they don’t
>”-throom after i woke up aubr-”
>catching myself just in time with my chattering.
>She doesn’t know i was planning on taking a piss, coming back and screwing aubrey
>Didn’t need to know
>Specially if i had done something with her before that i just didn’t remember.
>I was missing a couple hours
>So i made out with her maybe, cuddled, fell asleep. light petting possibly?
>I didn’t remember shit
>Blondie did
>She caught me saying the other girl’s name
>Latched onto it, in that way they always do
>”Aubrey!?”
>a shout
>scream almost, in an emotional burst completely amiss to her current situation
>”You thought it was aubrey?!”
>I would love for that to have been a scream too
>But it wasn’t
>It was a dejected sigh, an empty surrender.
>Not that i understood why
>Until she groaned
>”Figures! You don’t like me anyway!”
>Literally
>Holy shit
>Stop with this passive aggressive self depreciation
>I grab her shirt
>Not that i have a good grip, but i pull myself closer
>Eye to eye
>Get my growly angry voice on
>Low, angry, Batman-y
>”I swear to fucking god, you start up this sh-
>She slaps me
>Harder than harley quinn, instant feedback
>tumble backwards, more in surprise than the actual force of the blow.
>Blondie doesn’t hit people
>It just doesn’t happen, not intentionally
>Sure she severely threatens my life on a daily basis, but never intentionally
>Accidental manslaughter at best.
>But she just hit me
>A me that’s now rump on the floor, staring upwards at her pout, cold blue eyes, crossed arms and tightly crossed legs.
>”I’m sorry, a boy i almost gave my v-… first time…to just told me he thought i was another girl”
>”How do you think that makes me feel? Leave. Now.”
>That hits me
>Hurts harder than the slap
>In dim lights on that boat, i was eating out blondie and not aubrey.
>Drunken stupor, actually thought in the moment that she was the more beautiful one, and that i was getting with a perfect 10/10.
>Cheesiness aside, that might be exceptionally romantic
>Shame i’ll never be able to explain that one
>What i had done however, was completely crush the poor girl
>You know, she’s thinking the choice of two women, i would choose aubrey
>That already hurts, even if i could tell blondie wasn’t infatuated in me, it’s still painful to know a guy would pick someone else.
>Plus, shaved for me.
>Whatever ridiculous offhand comment i made before, she had taken her time to make the experience supposedly nicer for me.
>When a girl does that
>She likes you, no matter what you think
>A royal fuck, i’ve screwed up everything once more
>Crippled her self esteem, chose aubrey over her, and then walked out for gadget instead.
>How she was smiling this morning was beyond me
>Making waffles
>Innocently ignoring gadget and myself, saying we looked nice together.
>I’m trash
>Worse than trash
>I leave
>Or start to
>She doesn’t stop me with a hand on my shoulder
>Or a cry out of my name
>Not a barring body between me and the door
>Even a mumbled sound, a cry to let me know i should stay
>Nope
>I stop me
>Walking four feet to the door, stopping on my heels and turning
>Her still glaring at the floor, at the knees in front of her
>Where i was sitting a moment before
>Returning to that spot
>Letting her stare at my knees
>Getting her attention i point out quite bluntly
>”You know i thought you were aubrey”
>Her response
>”Fuck off, i’ll scream”
>Typical
>Really, hurt girl, doesn’t want to deal with you, threatens to get others involved
>Only reason i came back was because i felt bad anyway
>Wanted to make her feel a little better, without leaving her a disheveled self-beating up mess.
>I kneel
>Eye level
>Which she refuses to look me in ,but it’s close enough that i know she’s sees my face
>How sincere i’m being
>”Since it was aubrey, when i left, i didn’t come back”
>She makes out to snap at me
>But stops
>Lets me continue
>Not that i even know what i want to say next
>But i wing it
>”I wouldn’t have left at all if i knew it was you”
>Sappy
>But, considering her silence
>Probably worked
>I’m silently fistpumping in my head as i try to leave again
>Perfect solution
>Until she stops me
>”Prove it”
>Two words
>Send a cold shiver down my spine.
>Feigning a smile
>Hoping she isn’t going to demand i make a sacrifice to the volcano god or anything, i say “Sure!”
>She frowns
>”Tonight, don’t drink”
>And she shoos me out of the bathroom
>Then stops
>”Get the two packages off the bedside table upstairs, keep them with you… please?”
>Then a chided in “Safe…right?”
>Then she pauses
>”Or wait… you used them huh”
>Oh
>Condoms
>Wait
>”No, we didn’t use them”
>This time blondie gives me a look
>First confused
>Than “You’re an idiot”
>”You didn’t use them with gadget?”
>I shrink back, shamed
>Shake my head
>And she shakes hers, twice
>”Idiot!”
>I don’t understand what the big deal is
>”Gadget’s on your cycle though, you’re sa-”
>She just shakes her head
>worrying me twice as much
>And shooing me out the door again
>Standing in the hallway
>door closed behind me
>Fuck
>I gotta find gadget
>I don’t find gadget
>I find glasses
>Which is way worse
>She’s just over by the kitchen/laundry room
>The second of which she tugs me right into, closes the door behind her and leans against it
>”Listen…this is important!”
>Yeah ok
>Not nearly as important as me knocking gadget up
>Im pretty sure i say this
>I mean it’s glasses
>she has no friends left to gossip to
>[spoiler]Alright that’s kinda mean actually[/spoiler]
>Her eyes go dinner plate wide
>Instantly
>”What!?”
>Yeah i know
>right?
>Fuck i’m an idiot
>But i keep forgetting that glasses is female, and knows how all that stuff works
>She gets right to investigation mode
>”Wait, didn’t she have her period a couple days ago?”
>…
>How the hell does she know that
>[spoiler]Girls and gossip man[/spoiler]
>Glasses’ shoulders loosen, tension drops and she laughs
>”Then she’s safe for this week, but you’re still an idiot and should use something if they’re not on the pill”
>Then almost an added afterthought
>”Like me”
>Th.. thanks glasses
>Just gotta push home your “Fuck me for my evil plans to work” hentai plot huh?
>I do realize that she looked exceptionally worried for those 20 seconds
>Like i just ruined all her plans by knocking gadget up
>Was not an eventuality she planned for.
>Her worry is gone with the revelation i’m probably safe though
>Personally, not so sure
>But i’ll believe glasses.
>For now…
>She jumps right along to her important topic
>One word
>”Tonight”
>Yeah
>Sounds good so far, keep going.
>”I need you to get really drunk”
>…
>I uhh
>”Blondie just… told me to do the absolute opposite of that”
>Glasses asserts her dominance
>”Fuck blondie!”
>I assert mine
>”That was the plan”
>She asserts hers
>Which seems to be vastly superior to mine, because she holds up the two blue packets from the upstairs
>”Really now? Not if i have these”
>i shrug
>Ill just go get more
>It’s not too late
>Until she points out i can’t drive
>”I’ll just get a ri…”
>Oh
>You know i see the brilliance here.
>it’s either follow glasses’ plans, or somehow convince freckles to drive me to a liquor store to buy condoms.
>Or i could take them by force
>I step forward, imposing.
>Ready to snatch them away, or pin the damn girl down and take them from her.
>She’s got a plan for that
>Both packets go to her teeth, biting down on the serrated edge
>Two fingers holding the corner
>”One step closer, and i open them, they’ll be ruined”
>…
>I halt
>”STOP! I’LL DO ANYTHING!”
>You know, begging, pleading
>The like
>She grins
>”Get drunk, i need you to make bad decisions”
>thanks glasses
>mumbling something about i make bad decisions anyway she doesn’t need me drunk, i try to leave.
>She stops me again
>”I need you to sleep with me, but make it look like it was a bad decision, so get drunk”
>Obligatory question
>”Why can’t i just not be drunk”
>She says i can’t act for shit
>):
>”Can we just pretend we slept with one another already?”
>She shrugs
>”Sure… but i kinda want to, so no”
>—–
>——————
>fuck it
>I chose freckles
>Easier to deal with
>I leave
>Don’t even pay any heed to the warnings, threats and various curses upon my family glasses is flinging from behind me
>Stomp upstairs
>Looking for freckles, wherever she went
>I hear her yell, about something
>Typical freckles really
>Leads me in the direction of her voice
>Master bedroom, duh
>Another loud-freckles related noise
>So she’s fighting, probably with aubrey
>Makes sense
>opening the door, i step inside and freeze
>Well, yeah
>Guess you could call it fighting.
>Wasn’t full blown lesbianism or anything
>I would hope they would lock the door for that
>Naw
>I just walked in to some light kissing
>And some squeezing
>Mostly freckles making loud exclamations at the squeezes
>Aubrey was facing the door, and caught my eyes almost instantly
>a second of silence
>A second of frozen stillness, nobody saying anything
>Before a rather calm and british once more “Be a deare and close the door for us would you?”
>Ooops
>Right away madame, will do madame.
>Door closed
>Locked
>I turn back to face them
>Freckles eying me now, her turn to growl
>”She meant with YOU OUTSIDE”
>Oh
>right
>Right awa-
>Aubrey interrupts my leaving
>”He’s just going to tell everyone”
>Obviously not directed at me, probably freckles
>Freckles seems to agree
>”Yeah, we’ll have to kill him”
>!!!
>Aubrey just laughs at this
>A rich, echoing peal of light laughter
>”No! Hah, not kill him! There’s other things we can do!”
>Switching to russian halfway
>Terrifying
>Going to be tortured aren’t i
>She continues
>”I was just learning… from freckles… that you taught her how to kiss”
>stepping backwards
>Fearful for my life
>”Along with some… other things that i’m sure you don’t want to get ou-”
>I hold up my hand
>We don’t have to go that deep into anything
>”Fuck blackmail, freckles i need a ride to the liquor store so i can buy condoms, i won’t tell a soul”
>Her expression which previously was back to slightly worried, just snapped to prim and straight again
>”Fine, get out”
>Wow
>Seriously why do i even bother with glasses
>Freckles 1000x easier as i slide out the door, making sure to lock it for them this time.
>A murmur of “I’m really awful at this, and he just ruined it anyway” from freckles inside
>quiet and less confident side of herself i guess
>And aubrey’s response of “naw, you’re not that bad”
>I grin
>Aubrey’ll teach her gud.
>But again, why do i bother with gla-
>Oh
>Probably because you can’t escape glasses
>She’s standing at the bottom of the stairs
>Smiling
>”From that yelling, sounds like she won’t be helping you”
>A gloating tone
>A grinning “I’ve won smile”
>I want nothing more than to just shove her over and rub her face in the dirt with my victory
>But that would be giving away the prize
>So i hang my head
>Pretend freckles wouldn’t help at all
>Get to enjoy a full three minutes
>I counted
>Of glasses following me around and gloating until i finally give up and plop down on the couch again
>Then
>When i guess everyone else is in the kitchen discussing making brownies or something
>Aubrey and freckles still upstairs
>Glasses peeks around, and leans over to hug me
>A full on face to chest hug, arms wrapped tightly with a squeeze
>Very-un-glasses-like
>But she holds it
>Enjoying my limp non resistance
>Until freckles shouts from the top of the stairs
>”Alright! Let’s go!”
>Glasses already let go of me before freckles could see
>And i was up, and standing at the bottom of the stairs, shoes equipped ready for her
>Wallet, phone, everything, check.
>She stomps down
>Usual angry-face demeanor, not even the slightest hint as to what she was doing upstairs
>I start to follow behind her as she heads towards the garage door
>Then i startle myself, and realize
>Step forward, grab her by the shoulders and shove her complaining into the bathroom
>Clasping my hand over the VERY angry girl’s mouth at this point
>The eyes burning, sulfur as always
>Fire and brimstone ready to engulf mine with rage, i can tell i only have a matter of seconds before she explodes as i close the door behind us
>I have to pull my finger up
>Make the universal finger over mouth symbol, the “Shhh”
>and i point towards her neck
>Remove my hand, and turning around to grab and wet a washcloth, i turn back to find she hasn’t screamed
>Just standing there, trying to look at her collarbone
>”How did it go?”
>A nonchalant question as i start to rub off the smears of lipstick near her shoulder
>Didn’t really need an answer
>I could see
>But we were going to walk through the kitchen to get to the garage
>So everyone else could see too
>Her expression softens, hardened shell cracks as i start rubbing.
>Eyes relax, and look at me in a happier, ecstatic almost, visage.
>”It was amazing, she’s so soft…and..”
>I find my other hand grabbed
>Pressed against her chest, over her heart
>The obvious increased pace, fluttering beats, rapidly pulsing.
>Yup
>First time experiences do that to ya.
>i was kinda more surprised that
>1). Freckles let me pull her into a bathroom and didn’t murder me
>2). That not murdering me part
>3). Also not claiming i was raping her or anything
>Seriously she trusted me, at least a little bit
>Neat
>She even thanked me
>Even if it was less of a thank you and more of an appreciative nod after i was done making sure she was kitchen presentable.
>As soon as the kitchen found out we were going to the store
>All the girls in the kitchen also somehow found out
>And then it was all over
>Everyone had orders for various things
>Blondie needed chocolate chips for brownies, or some other magical chocolate food she was preparing
>Raven wanted a bag of hot cheetos and didn’t have any cash on her at the moment, claiming i “owed her”
>I did
>But i told her to fuck off, she broke up with me and didn’t want shit
>A gloating smile on my face
>A pout on hers, and a wave of her hand in dismissal when blondie tried to offer to buy her some.
>Unluckily i noticed glasses watching,
>So i just bluntly told her if she wanted anything she had to “Get it herself”
>Good acting
>Fake fighting
>10/10 show put on
>Raven offered to pay in middle fingers and stomped off
>[spoiler]Secretly broke my heart, i’d buy you cheetos raven[/spoiler]
>as we’re leaving gadget prods me aside
>Asks if i could pick her up a bag of the same, because she’s never had them before.
>I shrug
>Realize it’s probably going to start shit between me and raven
>Then realize that’s perfect
>On the drive to the store i’m preoccupied remembering what we need to get
>Condoms
>Chocolate chips
>A bag of flamin hots
>and a soda that freckles picks out for herself.
>I’m sure the cashier thought we were complete teenage deviants.
>Not that he cared
>I mean logically what are you going to do with the chocolate chips?
>On the ride back i check my phone
>Nothing better to do right, specially while not driving in a car
>”23 new Messages from Gadget”
>PANIC
>HOUSE PROBABLY BLEW UP WHEN WE LEFT
>SHE’S TRAPPED INSIDE, TRYING TO CONTACT ME FOR HE-
>Opening them up reveals a much more dramatic turn of events
>They’re from last night, the ones i never looked at.
>Curiosity makes me scroll down
>Read the rest
>Gradually more depressing as they go
>the last two sticking out
>”I deserve it, i will wait”
>”or else, remember”
>Two ambiguous texts at the end, right around an hour before the time i came back in and found her.
>That hits me hard
>Almost tear up before freckles asks
>”How many are in the box?”
>What box
>I have no clue what she’s talking about
>Too busy being sad over gadget’s text messages
>Oh and blondie who told me to make sure they weren’t dark chocolate chips because she hates those
>Very sad.
>Dark chocolate is awesome
>Freckles repeats “Box, condoms, how many?”
>I dono
>Six?
>Condom buying was a mystery, i just picked a box that said “Medium”
>I lean back, grab the bag
>Ruffle through for the box
>Read the details
>Lotta words here
>I got no clue, condoms are a mystery to me
>a “Curse” of having an infertile GF
>However there are six
>Freckles responds appropriately
>”gimmie one”
>…
>…
>I sense a trap
>”…why?”
>Quite a blunt response actually
>Way more forward than i expected
>”Because i don’t want to get pregnant?”
>Almost chiding me as if i’m a fool for asking the question
>I dont feel like a fool
>She certainly considers me one
>Doubly so when i inform her that lesbians usually have extreme difficulty conceiving together
>Offer to explain the birds and the bees if she wants
>How that all works
>Unless birthday magically has evolved a penis
>I leave that hanging, just silence in the car for a minute
>Two
>Freckles quietly staring at the road
>Then a shallow statement
>”No, Glasses set me up with Aubrey, so i have to do what she said before.”
>Uhh
>Uhh
>”Which is?”
>I’m lost
>Terrified
>Glasses being involved is never a good thing
>Freckles just forces a straight face
>No disgust or anything
>Just an announcement
>”She wants me to sleep with you and raven; ruin your relationships, and i’m not letting you get me pregnant”
>”Not that you can’t do that fine on your own, the ruining part”
>A snide remark
>Unfitting in the somehow steeled indifference she seemed to be showing.
>Woah
>Hold the fuck on
>What could glasses possibly have that would make freckles d-
>RAVEN
>I’m shocked
>Pure surprise on my face
>Then back to confusion
>”So.. you really slept with raven last night?”
>Freckles just stares at the road
>Maybe not the best place to be having this conversation
>Then in a very-unfreckles like timid voice
>the kind of one blondie adopts when she’s telling you a secret
>I hear
>”I… don’t think i was very good, she didn’t enjoy it”
>ooh
>Yeah, i point out that raven was kinda
>Kinda really blackout drunk, and doesn’t remember a thing
>”Oh”
>Is the only response i get, as we pull into the driveway
>Click of the remote and the garage door opens
>Then closes behind us as we park
>Car off
>Darkness
>Still sitting
>Neither of us wanting to move
>I speak first
>More out of curiosity
>”Did she teach you anything you’re going to use on aubrey?”
>Seriously
>Mind in the gutter i know
>But i’d love to know what lesbian tricks raven knew
>Hot blackmail into threesome later material maybe
>Unluckily for freckles, and my blackmail attempts, “Slept with” seems to have consisted of some drunken kissing, groping and a couple aborted attempts at fingering
>I pretty much told freckles right away that it didn’t count and she’s still a lesbian virgin if that’s a thing.
>I couldn’t see her face, but her voice sounded relieved with an
>”Oh… i just… she didn’t like it, and i don’t want to be bad with aubrey”
>Tension and worry creeping back.
>”I didn’t know she didn’t remember… that explains the yelling”
>”I thought she was really angry at me because i was so bad”
>Mind you her tone is depressingly quiet, sad, and revealing a side of her lack of confidence i rarely seen
>But it’s hillarious
>I have to stifle not one, but two laughs
>Far too rude to laugh at a girl thinking she’s bad in bed
>I change the question
>Still sitting there in the dark, i guess it’s bonding hour
>”How long have you and aubrey been testing the waters?”
>I was curious as to how glasses worked her magic so quickly
>Bullshit i say, but she seems to have done it.
>Then it made sense
>Freckles sniffled
>she was crying, but not anymore
>”After the beach, she said she wanted to talk to me, and all of a sudden we were kissing”
>”She told me she’d never had a girl before”
>…
>Wait a minute
>The beach? That’s after…
>”GLASSES DIDN’T SET YOU UP, I DID”
>”n… no”
>She stammers
>”I.. glasses told me, and then the day a…”
>I interrupt
>Explain everything i told aubrey at the beach
>How she was “Interested” and “Would consider it”
>Pieces fit
>I somehow managed to set freckles up with aubrey
>Neat
>Freckles didn’t think so
>”FUCK, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME”
>oops
>Accidental redhead overload
>Volcano detonation, lava spewing everywhere
>”I SLEP-
>I’ve already unbuckled and clapped my hand over her mouth
>[spoiler]I think i missed her mouth actually but she shut up anyway[/spoiler]
>I explain
>Firstly
>Right next to the kitchen
>Gonna tell everyone loudly, through the car and the wall if she keeps screaming
>Secondly
>Doesn’t count, don’t worry about it
>Thirdly
>Don’t have to sleep with me ❤
>She doesn’t respond to any of my points.
>Just heaves herself out of the car, hauls the very light bag of luggage along with her
>I tuck the box in my back pocket and follow, fumbling around until she gets to the garage steps and turns on the light
>I realize she’s been facing me the entire time
>Standing there
>Eep
>”Save one anyway”
>An oddly specific tone, halfway between smiling and a cry
>And a halfway grin
>Tilt of her head before she turns around
>Tells the door
>”In case you’re wrong”
>n…
>Nice save freckles
>I almost thought for a second you weren’t a bitch and were genuinely appreciative of me setting you up with the hottest girl words can buy.
Update #62: October 13th
Archive: http://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/S14060907
>I strut my stuff
>Right through that garage door, i mean i’d just successfully avoided glasses’ plans for what
>Third time today?
>Feelin pretty proud of myself
>Little bounce in my step
>Freckles was still in a minor bit of a moody huff
>You know, mostly after admitting she thought glasses set her up with aubrey and it ends up i accidentally did
>But she was still giving glasses credit and doing things she didn’t want to do
>Blackmail at its finest i guess
>Never did manage to ask her what glasses had on her that would make her do such a thing.
>Made sense
>I mean back in the hotel room she had something to hide too when glasses was fucking around with us
>):
>Maybe i’ll be able to solve it all when raven’s master plan comes through
>Maybe
>First girls to greet us are
>Well just blondie
>She hears the garage door open, is standing there waiting for me, hand outstretched
>”If they’re dark i’ll kill you”
>Her trademarked welcoming phrase
>I rummage through the plastic bag (yet another icon of our past!) and hand her the bag
>Not Dark chocolate
>She doesn’t murder me on the spot
>Phew
>With a flick of yellow hair, madame cook vanishes again into the kitchen, no doubt working on some delicious masterpiece of chocolate.
>”Thanks!” ringing out through the open doorway she vanishes into
>Freckles echoes the “You’re welcome!”
>Then grumbles to me that we should have bought her dark chocolate
>):
>”What’s your beef with blo-”
>My attempts to answer thwarted, by gadget’s pattering bare feet
>Her usual attire of hood, long pants and her headphones today, accompanying the almost-flying-hug she tries to give me
>Aborted at the last moment.
>Instead, like a cute little lion or tiger from kenya, she springs from her haunches.
>Forget norway
>Pins me against the wall, flinging up my arms in self defense / flinching
>[spoiler]As we’ve established, flinching is a white superpower[/spoiler]
>The hug and accompanying cute sounds i’m sure she made, completely drowned out by the loud crinkling of the bag she was now crushing
>That ended the hug instantly
>Gadget stepped back, gasped something about “ruining them!”, and rummaged in the bag i was still holding frozen.
>Still not sure how i had just managed to accept a flying leap type hug attack without coming out permanently scarred for life.
>Seriously
>No pain
>That’s a first
>Freckles i would assume was glaring, but wasn’t
>Just staring, straight faced at the event, sipping the cactus cooler soda she got from the shop.
>Gadget making appropriate rummaging sounds
>complete with a “They are still good! see!” and a firm shake, accompanied by more crinkling of the bag.
>I have no opinion about the crunchy cheesy chips we’ve procured for her.
>She however has other plans
>Namely to make me have an opinion about them
>Bag opens, crackling of the foil wrapping of course
>Then she tentatively grabs a couple, sniffs and nibbles them.
>Quickly scarfing down three, or four, as you might see a cat approaching a new source of food
>Adorable
>I’m glad she likes them, but like i said
>I had to have an opinion too, as she makes her best attempt to feed me multiple cheetos
>Which i have no option but to accept
>Two of the darn things, i really don’t want any right now, but i crunch along happily
>Pretend they’re yummy, she’s made a great choice, and yada yada
>Hoping that raven won’t show up any moment, see what we’re eating and throw a hissy fit
>Or that she does
>Fifteen seconds later, gadget’s panting
>Tongue lolling out of her mouth, waving at it with her hand.
>”Too hot!”
>….
>You’re from south america, didn’t you invent spicy things?
>You seriously must be joking, they’re not even that ba-
>Before i can say anything, she’s off, rushes into the kitchen for water
>Leaving me speechless, what?!
>Following with every intent of calling her a lightweight, i find she’s not in the kitchen
>Blondie’s the only girl here
>slaving away with large dangerous looking kitchen spoons over a bowl of brown goop.
>Remaining at a safe distance of five feet, i pass through to the living room.
>Where i realize the entirety of what had occurred
>Gadget was back on the couch, curled up as far away from everyone else as she could be on the end. Aubrey in the corner of the two sofas, legs stretched and toes wiggling over the lap of Glasses.
>Raven on the other end
>Who is staring down at her lap, which has miraculously received a bag of the particular spicy food she was begging me for earlier.
>That takes me a second
>Only a second before i turn to gadget and deftly question
>”You didn’t like them?”
>The hooded spicy-food-hating female shakes her head
>”too spicy”
>But i saw her tell, a little giveaway
>She avoided eye contact entirely
>She was lying
>Heart of fucking gold gadget, god damnit.
>It spurs memories of the various times she’d claimed she loved spicy foods.
>So she really was lying
>Some manipulation here, but i’m not sure to what end
>Stay friends with raven possibly? Even while supposedly dating me?
>Or leave the door open for raven and myself to reconcile? Try to string us closer and closer together with odd sideways gestures like that.
>Whatever she was doing
>That was sweet
>And i pretended i ignored the fact that raven now had the chips i had made such a big deal out of not getting her
>After all, she was scarfing them down like a starving wolf
>Poor thing
>Hasn’t eaten for what, like 2 hours?
>[spoiler]Raven and myself are those “Snacker” types
>We don’t eat very much, can almost never finish what’s on our plates at a restaurant, but tend to eat frequently, every couple or hours something small
>I would say it’s fast metabolism, because we’re both skinny as hell. But modern science proved metabolism’s don’t physically differ more than 10% between humans
>It’s just how we ate i guess[/spoiler]
>Weird tangents aside, the couch and its occupants seems to be specially designed so that the only place i have to sit is between aubrey and gadget.
>Which would be fine
>If it didn’t mean freckles would have to sit next to raven if i sat next to gadget. Or i would sit next to raven…
>Couch politics, jesus christ
>I contemplate the wars that would be fought over either of those decisions, and aside from just rearranging the couch entirely, i find a better solution
>”Gadget, stand up for a second?”
>A request, i stand her up with her accompanying “hmmm?” following but curious
>Then i steal her spot
>”Mine now!”
>MUAHAHAHA
>She does exactly what you would expect
>Hands on hips, a glare
>And then she turns around and forcefully plops herself right down on my lap
>Not hard, she doesn’t hit anything vital as she lands
>Just ends up nestled up into my shoulder, a soft, warm, squishy, warmly breathing girl
>Who kidnaps the nearby blanket, wraps it around herself and goes back to listening to music almost instantly
>Embarrassing the hell out of me of course
>Because not only was everyone watching
>But she added in a “Mine now!” of her own.
>Cute of course
>Even if the three women reacted in three entirely different ways to gadget’s show of affection
>Glasses watched, but then turned away
>Pretending to ignore us, politely with a smile.
>Aubrey dawwed, doted on a “you two are so cute!” to the mix
>Forgetting she was probably going to get punched later by raven for a comment like that
>The aftermentioned girl stood up
>Loudly announced she was going to go help blondie in the kitchen, and vanished.
>Probably at this point, i was really making her jealous and no longer fake jealous
>Might, maybe want to tiptoe around that from now on.
>Freckles quickly arrived and took the gracious throne i granted her next to aubrey, completely missing the heroic deed i had completed to allow her that right.
>Not that she made any moves
>Or any physical body contact either
>Just pretended that’s where she was sitting, and was nearly rigid as a board
>Doubly so when aubrey shifted, stretched her legs and made it took completely innocent with her change of draping those long silky smooth legs across freckles’ lap
>Poor girl
>Just sat there, hands clasped, staring at the sexy little ankles and calves right in front of her.
>I knew she wanted nothing more than to touch them
>But she had to pretend she wasn’t interested, and stare at the tv.
>I doubt anyone noticed but me, but boy was that awkward for her. Aubrey just teasing her like that.
>If i was freckles right now, i would have an embarrassed boner
>Thankfully she was female
>Girl boners far less obvious, and she made a good act of just watching the show we seemed to be watching a marathon of.
>Hint: It was torchwood
>So even if freckles was secretly sporting a girlboner, so was everyone else
>Even me a little bit
>You know, the main character.
>John Barrowman
>Glasses couldn’t shut up about him, Blondie kept coming in every time she was waiting for something to watch and fuss about how handsome he was.
>Gadget called him “Cute” in her version of an endearing sort of way.
>Aubrey’s opinion was that he was one of the hottest men alive, and even freckles may have been watching a little too intently.
>Even me, fuck i’d go gay for that motherfucker.
>That guy seriously needs to stop being so god damn sexy.
>Really so it was the usual torchwood watching experience
>Blondie finally leaving and returning to announce her special “Fudge chipped caramel chocolate brownies” were ready.
>Not that anyone stood up until the commercials kicked in again.
>Uncomfortable homoerotic questioning of gender preference over
>We change to uncomfortable erotic questioning of how many brownies we can shove into our faces respectably.
>Which seems to be a gay amount, because those brownies are gone in minutes
>Licking of chocolate fingers, gulping of milk, buzzing and humming around the kitchen.
>Nobody even sits down
>Poor little chocolate soldiers couldn’t even survive long enough to reach a plate.
>That’s no problem usually
>It’s just a hub of thanking blondie
>Hugs
>A couple chocolatey kisses on the cheeks in appreciation
>Blondie was indeed the star
>And seemingly back in everyone’s good graces
>Except freckles
>Who went through all the thankful motions, grinned ear to ear, have blondie a couple hugs and then vanished back to the living room
>All of it fake
>They probably wouldn’t be getting along for a long while yet
>Laughing, giggling, jokes resumed
>This included gadget trying to force feed me leftover chocolate chips.
>Really just ending up leaving chocolatey smears on her fingers and my lips, because the entire room was heated from the oven being on.
>Her giggling and licking her fingers (eewww!) before attempting to feed me more.
>As has long been established with chocolate smeared lips, which at this point i think gadget was doing intentionally.
>You are obligated to kiss someone and leave chocolate lip-imprints on them
>Cheeks ideally
>Only time you, as a male, will ever get to pretend you’re wearing lipstick and not be gay.
>[spoiler]Unless it’s chocolate lipstick
>In which case i’m afraid we’re going to have to disown you. Son.[/spoiler]
>At first i was going to choose gadget
>I mean she did the lips and everything, giggling and halfway hugging me the entire time we were eating brownies
>It was like a holiday
>Blondie’s skills as a cook, continually impressing
>I mean they had this layer of cooked fudge with caramel underneath it on top of the brownies. Turtle shell almost
>Amazing stuff
>So of course i wanted to give gadget a kiss on the cheek and leave imprints
>But her skin was so dark i was worried it wouldn’t show up
>I think i told her this
>And then picked blondie
>See
>My reasoning was that blondie wouldn’t hate me
>Had pretty white skin, light enough for a chocolate kiss to show up upon
>and would generally be good natured about it
>Wrong
>On all counts
>I held up my finger, stopped gadget from ruining the surprise and snuck over to blondie
>She was having an animated conversation with aubrey
>That i rudely interrupted
>Mostly with a wrap around hug from behind and a rather cuddly smooch on her cheek.
>Which she followed with two things
>A squeak for the hug
>and a Squeal for the kiss
>Giggles from gadget behind me, and staring from everyone else
>See unlucky for me, as cute as it would be to leave a lip-shaped imprint of chocolate on her cheek
>IT was more a smear
>And blondie instead of being good natured about it
>She countered my chocolate kiss with an “EWW!”
>Even her skin
>Flawless smooth white?
>Yeah we forgot that turns bright red when she’s threatened or otherwise embarassed.
>So it didn’t look nearly as cute as i wanted.
>Sucked
>Plus she kicked me out of the kitchen, and gadget too
>Said we were too “Troublesome”
>I feel like that’s just an excuse for us embarrassing her and wanting us to leave
>Hmph
>I ended up back on the couch again
>Gadget curled up in her same spot, the one she’d claimed earlier
>Wrapped around me with a blanket, eyes closed and listening to whatever music she had in mind
>Raven returned
>And glasses too
>Both bickering with one another about something in an obviously temporary chocolate induced friendship.
>Temporary friendship meaning they still sat on as far opposite sides of the couch as possible.
>Raven the entire other end.
>Glasses beside us, quickly adopting our blanket with the excuse of being “Cold”
>I eyed her with suspicion
>One of her hands was more than 90% likely to be fondling someone under this blanket in less than 30 seconds
>Be more transparent glasses, seriously.
>Or…less transparent
>She ripped her hand back
>Wasn’t fondling me, i’m pretty sure, but it returns neverless
>Along with a near panicked question
>”H… how old is gadget?!”
>lol
>Now i know where the hand went
>But gadget herself hadn’t stirred
>to which i realized she had sugar/chocolate/milk comaed herself to sleep
>Cute
>But still completely asleep in my lap
>”Hey… glasses…”
>It’s not really a whisper towards her
>”She’s alseep, i’ll tell you if you help me get her to bed”
>A nod in response
>With careful movements, carrying, squeezing, lifting and various other illegal maneuvers in california, we manage to get gadget to the bed on the first floor
>All tucked in and everything.
>Except as i try to leave, she blurts my name
>The supposedly sleeping girl
>Awake this entire time and just pretending to get us to tuck her in
>Or magically asleep until the very moment i try to leave her side
>She requests
>Sleepily of course
>A kiss goodnight
>I oblige
>Glasses nearly dawws herself
>It’s just a peck on the forehead, and gadget’s out like a light
>Cute as a button
>Or two buttons
>Or three
>Whenever buttons stop being cute, she was there.
>informing glasses on the way back to the couch that gadget just waxed or something
>And was perfectly old enough, no matter how young she looked
>Or felt
>Probably an excuse on my end
>she could be 13 for all i knew
>But glasses seemed to agree with me, so it made sense.
>She ended up in the same place on the couch again
>Her blanket over us both this time
>Even if we weren’t visibly cuddling
>She was cuddling me
>Sideways, with her legs, hips, and everything else she could force any kind of physical contact with
>I just ignored her
>Went back to watching captain jack, and trying not to get a boner.
>It wasn’t helping
>Mostly because someone had hands lightly tracing the edges of my jeans
>And it wasn’t me
>Blondie saved me from that
>Returned from the kitchen finally
>”Cleaned up”
>As she said
>And took one glance around the couch
>Stock, of who was sitting where
>Freckles and aubrey pretending not to cuddle under another blanket, but definitely were
>Raven alone
>Glasses and myself under a second blanket.
>Blondie took her own initiative
>As much as she had left of initiative anyway
>”Storybro… i need help with the dishes if you don’t mind.”
>Sure thing
>Anything to get away from glasses i figure
>Aubrey gets up too
>Not to help it seems
>But she’s decided she wants a drink
>And offers everyone else one too
>I politely refuse
>Glasses tells her to bring me one anyway
>Thanks… glasses.
>I end up in the kitchen
>Sure, i could clean dishes i guess
>No problem with that, need a distraction
>sliding up to the sink, Staring.
>It’s empty
>No dishes, kitchen is spotless
>W-
>Too late to realize it’s a trap
>Blondie’s between me and the door
>Bag of chocolate chips in her hand
>cheeks puffed
>TAKE EVASIVE MENUVERS MEN
>DODGE TO THE LEFT
>DODGE TO THE RIGHT
>She pins me
>Returns the favor
>The chocolate kiss
>This time it’s not on the cheeks, it’s full on lips
>An open mouth to mouth transfer of what seems to be melted and not-so-melted chocolate chips
>I’d love to tell you it was hot
>Delicious
>Romantic
>Amazing, something i’d want to do again
>It wasn’t
>It was slimy half melted chocolate and saliva
>Absolutely disgusting.
>Blondie too breaks the kiss right away
>Realizes that putting chocolate in your mouth and kissing someone sounds great
>Super romantic and all
>Cute, delicious, whatever
>but shit that didn’t work at all
>Fuckin anime’s lied to us man
>flat out lied
>I end up spitting into the sink
>Her coughing because some of it went down wrong
>10/10 romantic kiss
>Would do again
>Made about the right amount of sense
>Aubrey watching us
>Amusement
>But no commentary
>She seemed to have yet another bottle of wine she’d pulled from who knows where
>Offers us the first glasses
>”To loosen the mood”
>She claims
>I refuse
>Blondie accepts
>And i do two things
>One
>I pull blondie away from the outstretched glass
>Two
>I decline for her
>She whines
>”Just one!”
>I point out
>”If you’re drunk, i’m not going to sleep in the same bed”
>Not even like beating around the bush
>I flat out tell her i’m not going to sleep with her if she drinks
>First times should be special yo
>And i pull out the somewhat crushed box of condoms in my pocket
>Blondie’s eyes widen
>Aubrey’s too
>But for sarcastic remarks
>”woooow a 6 pack”
>shush
>I can’t help but stifle a laugh at that.
Storybro's Magically Lewd 